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Dear Sex, Dating advice isn’t so much about “rules” as it is about “guidelines.” For everything I’ve ever written, I can find an exception or contradiction, which is why it’s so important to figure out how specific advice applies to YOU.Please, allow me to refer you to two blog posts where I straddle both sides of the fence.

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In the second post, I allude to my stance on “sexclusivity.” I think it’s smart to vet your partner as boyfriend material BEFORE you sleep with him, but I’m quick to acknowledge that if YOU can handle the consequences of sleeping with a guy who is not your boyfriend, more power to you. (Different reasons for me: I hated to sleep with women I knew I wouldn’t date and got sick of the headaches and drama that sex caused.) I’m currently dating a guy I’m crazy about and really want to sleep with, but I haven’t dared suggest commitment because I know he’s gun shy about a relationship and I don’t want to scare him away. Right now, he’s using you for blowjobs and hoping you soften your stance on intercourse.

When I give him space, he keeps coming around (think good old “why men love bitches” approach). So, unless you just want to use him for sex in return, cut things off with him and find yourself a guy who steps up to become your boyfriend in less than 6 weeks.

Part of me just really wants to do it already with 2.5 month guy and not have a chat about it, but maybe it’s too risky?